The Misuse of Words

Throughout the social media revolution, our language has evolved. We have added new words, such as “blog” which was derived from “web log.” We have added new meanings to words: “Web” used to refer either to a form of cloth, something a spider spun, or the skin membrane between a duck’s toes; “surfing” involved a board and a wave; “windows” were framed glass used to let light (and occasionally fresh air) into your home; and “chats” were held in the same room, often while sharing a meal or beverage.

One word that has come to my mind recently is the definition of the word “friend.” To begin, let me quote the definition of the word from the Webster Encyclopedia of Dictionaries, Copyright 1978, which is a few years before the PC revolution, let alone the Internet:

Friend (frend) n. One attached to another by esteem and affection; an intimate associate; a supporter.

That is it, the “old school” definition of a friend, less any references to the Quakers.  You will notice that it is NOT a verb. In 1978 one did not “friend somebody.”

The definition of this beautiful word became of interest to me during a couple of recent Facebook discussions. It should come as no surprise to anybody reading this blog (both of you) that I am NOT a supporter of Donald Trump. Not only am I not a supporter, but I cannot believe anybody believes that a person who makes racist comments, comments against women, and has spent more time fear-mongering and insulting his opponents than proposing new policies is qualified to be President.

I recently posted a couple of memes on Facebook expressing that sentiment. In addition to that, I suggested that anybody who DOES believe Trump should be the next President should go ahead and “Unfriend” me. I had several people express their disbelief at my “intolerance” and lack of respect for the opinions of others. One person made an erroneous assumption and accused me of only wanting friends that agree with my choice in POTUS. That is hardly the case. In fact, even though I do not agree with the policies and beliefs of most of the candidates, I can respect people who feel strongly about the leadership qualities or integrity of their chosen candidate. At least candidates who are not willingly accepting an endorsement from the KKK.

As far as not respecting the opinions of others, who says you have to respect the opinions of others, especially if you consider the basis or source of that opinion? It can be argued that Adolf Hitler was the best thing that ever happened to Germany. He took a devastated, depressed, post-war economy and military and built a world power. But do you HAVE to respect this opinion, given that it ignores the atrocities Nazi Germany brought to the entire world? You should respect the person’s right to their opinion, but to respect any opinion because it exists seem naïve to me. I don’t respect the opinions of Ken Ham, who claims the world is only 6,000 years old because it ignores scientific evidence to the contrary. Nor do I respect the opinions of climate change deniers, who also ignore the vast majority of scientific data. They have the right to their opinions, but I reserve my respect to those deserving respect.

I am also not a stranger to debate. Two of my dearest friends in the world and I debate and argue all the time. We don’t now nor will we ever agree on everything. In truth we would hate for that to happen, because then we wouldn’t have anything to argue about!

It all goes back to my archaic definition of a friend. Of all my so called Facebook friends (about 560+/-), I can break them down into a few of broad categories:

• Acquaintances from high school and college; 
• People I have met, worked with, or hope to work with through the Central Ohio theater community;
• Old friends and acquaintances from my former residences; and 
• Acquaintances I have met through friendships with others. 

But when it comes to friends, true friends, somebody I can count on when I need help and who can count on me; someone whom I trust and hope trusts me, of those I have a few very good, strong, positive friendships.

Friends are people with whom I exchange more than just text. I have been invited into their homes and into their lives. My friends are people with whom I have built a relationship and hope that the relationship continues to grow.

So, if a person is on my Facebook friends list, does that make them my friend? Not necessarily. Certainly the potential does exist for a new (or renewed) friendship by remaining in contact with people through social media. However, if a person is so diametrically opposite to me, believes that the best option we have for the President is the hatred and bigotry purported by Donald Trump, then I simply do not wish to associate with that person. So what is the harm in disassociating (unfriending) from these people? I have friends in my life and we all need more love and companionship in our lives, not just names on social media lists. I am afraid one of the results of the social media revolution is the ongoing misuse of the word “friend.”

-- Food for Thought