The Misuse of Words

Throughout the social media revolution, our language has evolved. We have added new words, such as “blog” which was derived from “web log.” We have added new meanings to words: “Web” used to refer either to a form of cloth, something a spider spun, or the skin membrane between a duck’s toes; “surfing” involved a board and a wave; “windows” were framed glass used to let light (and occasionally fresh air) into your home; and “chats” were held in the same room, often while sharing a meal or beverage.

One word that has come to my mind recently is the definition of the word “friend.” To begin, let me quote the definition of the word from the Webster Encyclopedia of Dictionaries, Copyright 1978, which is a few years before the PC revolution, let alone the Internet:

Friend (frend) n. One attached to another by esteem and affection; an intimate associate; a supporter.

That is it, the “old school” definition of a friend, less any references to the Quakers.  You will notice that it is NOT a verb. In 1978 one did not “friend somebody.”

The definition of this beautiful word became of interest to me during a couple of recent Facebook discussions. It should come as no surprise to anybody reading this blog (both of you) that I am NOT a supporter of Donald Trump. Not only am I not a supporter, but I cannot believe anybody believes that a person who makes racist comments, comments against women, and has spent more time fear-mongering and insulting his opponents than proposing new policies is qualified to be President.

I recently posted a couple of memes on Facebook expressing that sentiment. In addition to that, I suggested that anybody who DOES believe Trump should be the next President should go ahead and “Unfriend” me. I had several people express their disbelief at my “intolerance” and lack of respect for the opinions of others. One person made an erroneous assumption and accused me of only wanting friends that agree with my choice in POTUS. That is hardly the case. In fact, even though I do not agree with the policies and beliefs of most of the candidates, I can respect people who feel strongly about the leadership qualities or integrity of their chosen candidate. At least candidates who are not willingly accepting an endorsement from the KKK.

As far as not respecting the opinions of others, who says you have to respect the opinions of others, especially if you consider the basis or source of that opinion? It can be argued that Adolf Hitler was the best thing that ever happened to Germany. He took a devastated, depressed, post-war economy and military and built a world power. But do you HAVE to respect this opinion, given that it ignores the atrocities Nazi Germany brought to the entire world? You should respect the person’s right to their opinion, but to respect any opinion because it exists seem naïve to me. I don’t respect the opinions of Ken Ham, who claims the world is only 6,000 years old because it ignores scientific evidence to the contrary. Nor do I respect the opinions of climate change deniers, who also ignore the vast majority of scientific data. They have the right to their opinions, but I reserve my respect to those deserving respect.

I am also not a stranger to debate. Two of my dearest friends in the world and I debate and argue all the time. We don’t now nor will we ever agree on everything. In truth we would hate for that to happen, because then we wouldn’t have anything to argue about!

It all goes back to my archaic definition of a friend. Of all my so called Facebook friends (about 560+/-), I can break them down into a few of broad categories:

• Acquaintances from high school and college; 
• People I have met, worked with, or hope to work with through the Central Ohio theater community;
• Old friends and acquaintances from my former residences; and 
• Acquaintances I have met through friendships with others. 

But when it comes to friends, true friends, somebody I can count on when I need help and who can count on me; someone whom I trust and hope trusts me, of those I have a few very good, strong, positive friendships.

Friends are people with whom I exchange more than just text. I have been invited into their homes and into their lives. My friends are people with whom I have built a relationship and hope that the relationship continues to grow.

So, if a person is on my Facebook friends list, does that make them my friend? Not necessarily. Certainly the potential does exist for a new (or renewed) friendship by remaining in contact with people through social media. However, if a person is so diametrically opposite to me, believes that the best option we have for the President is the hatred and bigotry purported by Donald Trump, then I simply do not wish to associate with that person. So what is the harm in disassociating (unfriending) from these people? I have friends in my life and we all need more love and companionship in our lives, not just names on social media lists. I am afraid one of the results of the social media revolution is the ongoing misuse of the word “friend.”

-- Food for Thought

The Legacy of the Trump Campaign

When I tried to start this blog entry several weeks ago, it began as one of my typical rants about the importance of voting. However, as I began to compose my thoughts, I saw more and more postings on social media and elsewhere encouraging everyone to vote. My own plea to get out and vote would be redundant to say the least. I thought I would make my own election prediction. Not of the election outcome, but of the enduring legacy of the Trump campaign.

During the 2016 Presidential campaign we have seen some of the worst political lies since William Henry Harrison convinced the electorate that he—a Virginia plantation born, highly-educated member of a political family—was a simple, Ohio frontiersman, a man of the people. We have also witnessed the worst name-calling and mudslinging in any campaign since the Lincoln/Douglas debates when Stephen Douglas accused his opponent of being “two-faced.” Abraham Lincoln reportedly responded to this accusation by saying, “I leave it to my audience. If I had another face, do you think I would wear this one?”

As bad as the political sparring and negative campaigning have been, it seems to me that this political season has brought about something even worse. Something worse in all of us that goes beyond the inevitable comparisons to Adolf Hitler, cartoon depictions of candidates, manipulated statistical “proofs,” and exaggerated talking points. It has brought our own prejudices and bigotry to the surface.

Prejudice and bigotry are, in my humble opinion, two very different but related things. Let me begin by saying that we all have prejudices. They come from who we are, where we were raised, and a myriad of other factors such as parental values, education, religious affiliation, social circles, societal influences, and personal wealth. We have prejudices against people who are different from ourselves. It is when we act on these prejudices—becoming intolerant of these differences, and acting or reacting according to those intolerances—that we become bigots.

Prejudice and bigotry have been a part of the American population since we first became a nation. Gang wars from America’s colonial period through the industrial age and even into today were and are often along ethnic lines. Recent headlines and the Black Lives Matter movement have shed further light on how racially divided and bigoted our country remains. A few examples of how bigotry helped form national policy were discussed in a previous blog entry titled Refugees: What is wrong with us? (http://kent-kvetches.blogspot.com/2015/11/refugees-what-is-wrong-with-us.html). But not since the television sitcom All in the Family made comedic fodder of bigotry have so many people expressed their intolerance so openly and with such pride.

Is this the fault of the Trump campaign? No. But Trump has made use of our bigotry and encouraged its expression for his own political gain. Ask a Trump supporter why they support “The Donald” and you will hear phrases like, “He says it like it is” or similar expressions. As a campaign, the Trump phenomenon is feeding upon and therefore validating our own intolerance. By broadly proclaiming Mexicans are rapists and Muslims are terrorists, he is using our fears and prejudices as his political base.

So what is the legacy of the Trump campaign? It isn’t the use of our own fears for the sake of political gain, which has been done before (too often). It is that Trump has made bigotry, hate, and intolerance not only acceptable, but fashionable.

-- Food for Thought